Parents are drowning in too many lifestyle choices

As published in The Richmond News, October 7^th 2009

On Monday I ran out of shampoo. No problem, I thought to myself. But when I walked into the store I was met by a full aisle of shampoo looming from floor to ceiling. Essential hydrating rinses that instantly detangle, fortifying shampoo with reinforced active fruit concentrate, colour therapy spray with honeyed pear serum… this was complicated!!!

After many minutes of agonizing over whether smoothing serum or the frizz control cream would do more to tame my mane, I still hadn't made my choice. I finally grabbed the nearest bottle and ran, almost late to pick up my son from preschool. So much for a relaxing morning...

As parents we are drowning in choices. It is not just the shampoo. All areas of our lives and our children’s lives are over run with options. At the same time, many of the traditional constraints that limited our choices have been eroded. Now even as you watch your child at the playground you have to agonize over whether to take that call.

And the choices themselves are getting more complicated. Was French Immersion the right fit, or would the local school have been better? Should you buy organic or local? Is swimming on Saturdays over-scheduling for your child, a cause of asthma or a great investment in encouraging an active lifestyle? With the internet making us aware of so much complexity, we are left second guessing ourselves and feeling overwhelmed. Rather than bringing us more happiness, all these choices can leave us feeling less satisfied than ever before.

What is a modern parent to do? We have to actively put in place some structures to replace the constraints that existed back when paid work happened 9 – 5, stores were closed on Sundays and a movie could only be watched in a theatre. Three suggestions I have are know what your priorities are, consciously push stuff off your plate, and learn to let go. Next time I’m out of shampoo, I will skip my quest for the perfect serum and will save my energy for a good game of chase at the playground…after I turn off my cell phone.